Ch. 4: Look Into My Eyes
Back to Arheled The world cleared. Pain faded. Around them was the dreary red desert and red-stained sky of the hated Graveyard of the Dragons. Nearby the same half-emerged frozen shapes of ancient dragons distorted the crags. Except for a cluster in front of them, which was a red somewhat darker than the others. They walked, neither daring to make a loud sound, the stones and red sand crunching under their shoes. Beyond and to the left, after some peering, they found the crooked natural bridge, a good quarter mile away. “Gerald,” said Camille hesitantly, “um, about what we did—“ “Yeah?” His voice sounded too hard and cold. He tried to soften it. “Yes, what about it?” “I really enjoyed it. I swear. I never had such a high. So, um, thank you.” “I’m afraid I cannot reciprocate.” “Oh, come on, Gerry, you are such a prude it’s sweet.” she said, half brassily and half affectionately. “I am no prude. I am merely prudent. I love you, Camille, and I am not going to throw my love away on—casual sex.” He spat the last two words. “And twice I’ve…known you. Neither time by my own will. Please, Camille, try to understand what I have done, and forgive me.” “You only forgive people who hurt you, silly. You ever so much as kiss another girl and then I’ll be mad, but why forgive you for so much fun?—Oh, right. Outside of marriage. Sorry. You Catholics are like from another planet.” “Fortunately.” “And I didn’t take my Pill this morning!” she said in mock annoyance. “Likely by the time I get back it’ll be too late and I’ll have to go for an abortion—“ “WHAT?!” Gerald roared. He heard the sound clapping from crag to crag, but he ignored it. Grabbing Camille by the shirt he shook her vehemently. “Listen up, you little baby-killer. You ever, ever get an abortion, I swear I will bring down the blood of our child upon your head, and I will send you back to this Graveyard as fast as you leave it!” “Will you like get your hands off me, you big jerk?!” she spluttered, more shocked than angered, he had acted so unexpectedly. “So, what am I supposed to do? Get pregnant? Have a kid? Easy for you to say.” Gerald let go of her. “If you become pregnant,” he told her soberly, “I will marry you as soon as I’m of legal age.” “Well…17…technically next year you will be. But, like, marriage? That’s kinda scary. Can we make it? I mean, I can handle boyfriends, but…marriage…that’s so damn hard. I don’t know. Can’t we, like, shack up or something first? To see if we fit?” “No one fits.” Gerald said through his teeth. She gave back a step before the fury in his eyes. “No one is ideal. No one matches. All you can hope for is that God will make your damn will stubborn enough to fight through it and learn to put up with, and, maybe, after a lot of time together, really love. It’s not a passion thing. It’s not a fuzzy feeling. Love comes from decision. Love is born in the will.” “You’re freaking me out.” “What’s wrong?” Gerald snarled. “Can’t handle a little truth? Mature enough to screw, but not to face facts like a real woman?” Camille’s face was pretty red, and likely both would have come to blows in the next second, had they not been distracted by the dragons in the stone. They were moving. Cracks formed and little bits of stone rained down. “Oh God.” said Camille. “The one time that ejaculation is correctly used.” Gerald said dryly. They shifted to dragon in a flash. Camille took to the air while Gerald raced along the ground. They reached the landmarks. A great dragon above them yawned, and yawned seismic waves. As the land cracked and shook around him, what Gerald had taken for a mountain far away broke stone eyelids and opened huge eyes, for it was the head of a dragon like a mountain range, and he was dead, burning, black. “Gerald! It’s here!” screamed Camille. The shard of road, slanting down and ending suddenly, was remarkably unshaken by the turmoil. They leaped upon it. At once, to their amazement, they saw that it ran on down farther, into a dimness. They raced down, and left behind them the graveyard of waking dragons. The road bottomed out. All around them was a green shadowy fern forest, except that the green of the trees was mostly moss. The overcast gloom—if it was overcast, for the sky felt like it had no sun at all—had made it seem the trees were leafing; but they were so ancient their few leaves were black, and they seemed about to die. As they went on down the road the stone surface emerged from the moss, eroded, aged beyond guessing. Then they became aware that one of the trees beside the road was not a tree at all, but a huge statue of a man seated in a chair of stone. And then they became aware he was no statue, but alive, and looking at them. He was either made of leaves or garbed and haired in a green as vivid as leaves, the bright color of the ferns. His hair looked leaflike, so did his mustache, and his leonine face was fierce and stern, eyes glowing like emeralds or like new leaves held to light. “Dragons.” his fierce deep voice said. '' “Return to the Graveyard, or I send thee there myself.” '' “What the—who ARE you?” screamed Camille. '' “I am the Green Man.”'' the being answered. “''I watch the Roads of the Stars. Begone, ere I bego thee!” '' “In the name of Jesus Christ I ask thee for aid!” Gerald shouted, as the Green Man rose slowly from his chair. The being, tall as the trees, paused. His voice came down like thunder all around. “''How canst such as thou endure that Name?” '' Gerald shifted to human. “Because we were born of women.” The Green Man sank to one knee, bringing his face only a little from theirs. “''What abomination is this? What atrocity has he committed now? To blend the vile Dragons with the noble race of Men…how you must have suffered, little children. I crave thine indulgence. Now what wouldst thou ask?” '' “We ask to return to Winsted, and to be shielded from our Father.” '' “The first I can do, but the second none can do. Perhaps the Road might sheathe thee; but he is Ainu, and his vision sharpens daily. I will take thee into Winsted.” '' He picked them up (both in human form now) and strode down the road, and the land quivered beneath him. Phantoms of houses and cars began to appear like ghosts: they were in the dimension immediately above the primary level of physical space. The Green Man reached forward, his arms impossibly long, reaching through not distance but space, and as he did the phantoms of Winsted sharpened and the mossy forest faded. He set them down beside the street, and faded as well. They were on North Main Street, in eastern Winsted, north of the town green. Soberly they set out to walk home. “My offer holds, you know.” said Gerald. “You’re only offering to marry me if I get pregnant?” she said sardonically. “Well, thanks, that’s really flattering.” “I am a bit young to marry.” said Gerald. “But if I’m a father I’m bound. I have a duty to that kid, and his mother. I don’t care if I’m guilty or not in how I fathered him: he’s my responsibility and I have to face facts.” “Wow.” said Camille.” “That’s—I wish all my boyfriends were like that.” “What, you’re going out with multiple boys?” “Shut up, you retard! F— you!” she laughed. “I refuse to let you.” he said dryly. “Huh? Oh, I was only cussing. I didn’t mean that literally!” “Then why did you say it, if you did not mean it?” “Well, I—I—oh, for cryin’ out loud, a girl’s gotta have something strong to say.” “There, congratulations, you just said a strong thing that wasn’t obscene. Personally, I’m fond of ‘tarnation.’” “You’re crazy.” '' “Gerald.”'' said the Father of Dragons. “''Gerald. Where are you, little Jerry?”'' He could not be seen. He could not be seen. He was an Unseeing Dragon and he could not be seen. Even in his dream it sounded feverish, desperate. “I gifted you well.” Cornello smiled. “Since your protection and your power are combining to shield you from my sight, I will look harder. My power grows, son. We share blood. That blood calls to me. I will find you in the end.” He awoke, perspiring. It was always hot here, on the tiny tropical island he and Camille had decided to teleport onto for hiding. The island was small, but the sea teemed with life, and as neither dragon was quenchable they hunted in the reefs with great enjoyment. They seldom took on human form, now, for there were so many crazy bugs and discomforts here, even in the little cabin they had built. Camille was pregnant. She was still demurring on the marriage offer, though Gerald grimly persisted, but she had agreed to hide here with him. He thought it ironic that her suggestion about them shacking up first was being fulfilled.'' Except the sex part, he added. By God’s grace he’d stayed clear of that so far. But it was growing harder. He thought of the last time she’d gone swimming in human form, with nothing on, and only laughed at him when he hollored at her. He thought with despair that it might well be time to separate. Camille would be glad in one respect—he’d never relaxed the cloak on them, and she was beginning to complain about never seeing herself in a mirror. Too bad he couldn’t make her invisible to himself: nothing his power mantled was unseen to him. He shifted to dragon to make use of the extra senses and went outside to check. Human survelliance might yet spot them, if they were careless. Had they buried their feces? Erased footprints? Remembered to cover the fires? “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Camille had been in swimming. In human form. He hoped she was wearing something this time, and didn’t look over at her. “I dreamed of him.” “Wha…? You mean, our Father?” “He’s still hunting us, Camille.” said Gerald. “I’m afraid. He has not only magic, but science to help him.” “Even science can’t see an Unseeing Dragon.” “I hate this place.” Gerald muttered. “It’s always swampy. Summer. I need some cold. Some fall color.” “You’re homesick?” “I miss them.” he whispered. “My family. I’m too young. I’m not old enough to leave them.” “Cheer up, it’s only been two months.” “Halloween is this week.” A blinding glare filled the night. Both flinched and shielded their eyes. The voice of Cornello filled the earth and sky. '' “Reveal yourselves, Dragons. Otherwise this island will be nuked. I know you do not have the power to resist that!” '' Gerald and Camille looked at each other. She teleported inside, scooped her clothes in a heap, and both teleported at once. Instantly they felt themselves seized. Relentlessly, they were hauled out of the void between dimensions by which dragons tekeport and slammed against the rocks like sklapped eels. Gerald heard Camille’s shuddering moan and felt a similar sound escaping him. He only hoped that her baby, being in dragon-shape inside her dragon-body, was more resilient than in human form. ''“Little bastards, bastard-born and bastard-breeders, do you not know that when you teleport you do so by moving through the Graveyard of Dragons? And anything that passes there is under my knowledge, where it enters and where it departs. I knew where you hid. I was biding my time. But now you are needed, and now you are summoned!” '' “Why now?” Camille screeched. “What were you waiting for?” '' “Why, for the occasion to become sin, of course.” '' laughed the Father of Dragons. “''Do you not know that I am Damned? Do you think that your tormenting, pleasurable though that is, is my only purpose for you? Camille I can reel in any time, for she was steeped in sin from her birth. But you…you would indeed be a prize. But you remained continent, even in cohabitation. How touching. How despicable. I fail to comprehend how you can remain so strong, little Catholic. But I will break you. Oh, I will break you, my most hated; for am I not your Father, and do you not owe me a father’s bond?” '' “You cannot kill my soul.” Gerald’s voice astounded himself, so calm and clear and cool was it. “My will is under God’s protection. I am of the Church of Christ.” '' “You owe me obedience! Do not deny the bond I hold upon your spirit, little Catholic.” '' “You forfeited all devotion. You forfeited all respect. For your damnation absolves all bonds you may have earned. You did not beget me. You possess a human body and beget by it’s substance; but you do not truly beget of your own nature. You are a spirit. You can never have a true-begotten son.” The Catholic dragon stood against the fire-limned heavens that glared down at him. “You are not my father. I am not your son. I deny you. And all your works. And all your empty glamour!” “Do you indeed.” The voice from the sky was cold and jeering and cruel as knives. “Do you also, may I ask, deny the bond of flesh you share with her? Do you renounce the fatherhood of him you sired within her womb?” The supernatural calm was like a sea of solid stone within his soul. “I affirm it and accept it. Her child is my son. I place him under God’s protection.” Laughter like chunks of stone falling upon each other cascaded from the sky. Camille crouched and whimpered. “Much good that protection vails! Listen to me, little Catholic. While his mother is unCatholic and in state of bitter sin, that body of hers is in my power, to stamp upon until the life within her ceases. I will kill your darling child, unless you yield and do me service!” The calm shook a little. “The boy is born of dragons. He is dragon too. No dragon really dies. He will only go to the Graveyard of Dragons.” “And you think that once you’re there you can’t be killed! You fool. It is by my spell and by my curse bred in your nature that your houseless souls do not depart and are not judged, but your bodies are reassembled in the Graveyard. But if you are killed in the Graveyard, you die indeed, and dying scape me. Ancalagon is there. He will consume your darling offspring, unbaptized, in Sin Original: Limbo waits him, never Heaven, no salvation for your baby!” “That depends upon the Mercy of God.” said Gerald. “Please, Gerry,” whispered Camille, “do like he says! Don’t get him mad!” “I thought you wanted an abortion once.” he said, unable to restrain the sarcasm. “Well…not any more. Not now.” “How touching.” laughed the Father of Dragons. “You better listen to her, Gerrymander. For I will not stop with your unborn son. I will kill Camille…I will kill your mother…I will kill your father, your sisters, your relatives, every friend you ever made, every girl who shared your smile all the days of your bitter life. I will torture them to death before your eyes. It will take years. Are you sure you can bear it? How many of them are in the state of sin? How many of them might be sent to Hell by your stubbornness?” “What exactly do you require?” Gerald said coldly. “Oh, I am not stupid.” his Father said contemptuously. “I see the martyr-fire that consumes your soul. In such a mood no threat or fear would work upon you, and if I demanded anything you knew was wrong, you would not do it, and then I might lose my temper and wreck all my careful planning. It used to happen to Satan all the time. Fortunately for Hell, some of us have better self-control. What do I require? First, obedience. I have a few chores to do. Harry the Children of the Road. Give them battle. Oh, I doubt you could kill them, they are far too powerful; but if they reach the Heart of the Earth, they have orders to absorb its’ power that the Road may be stronger, and this would kill the Earth.” “What are you talking about?” “See what happens when you explain something to a Catholic.” the Dragon said to nobody. “There are six superheros penetrating the earth. They seek a thing of great power that both of us need, and if they get it, they will unknowingly kill the Earth. Think Hiroshima times ten thousand. Stop them. Delay them. Kill them, if you can (though you won’t, of course.)” “I will give them battle.” “Excellent. And they say you people aren’t reasonable. Now, shift and get better, little Camille: you’re coming too.” “Even—in my condition?” she said. “Dragon-babies are tough.” laughed Cornello. “Oh, and one more thing—both of you must lick my (bottom).” “Is the purpose of this intended to mock God, or me?” Gerald’s voice was like flint. “Only you, proud one. You’re supposed to be humble, aren’t you? Agree…or our bargain is off.” “Clever.” sneered Gerald. “You knew that if I was ordered to suck your…other organ…I would refuse, as that is a sex act, and you would have to martyr me. My dignity lies in my salvation. I will endure it, for my sins.” Then Cornello’s power took them both from that place. They appeared under the earth. It could hardly be anywhere else. A rounded, irregular shaft snaked steeply downward, the sides of which were not solid but a mass of squirming, glowing half-fluid rock, held at bay by some unimaginable power. Six people were walking wearily down the shaft. They seemed young, one in fact couldn’t be older than 12, but at the same time old, pinched and worn with long toil and weeks of travel. A young man of thirty with red hair and a hollow face led them. Gerald noticed a slight pale boy, and a tall blonde, and a girl with blue skin as well. As one Gerald and Camille acted. He made themselves invisible, and her attacks; while she fired bolts of vision that made the sight of her victims go haywire. Five of the six reeled, clutching their eyes. Except for the sixth. The young man with red hair. His eyes burned red. Camille’s attacks wavered. Gerald saw her eyes dilating, the air warping and vibrating between them. “What is it, honey?” he shouted. “He’s…revealing me.” she said in a ghost of a voice. “I can see…in his eyes…everything I’ve done…I’m doing the same to him, and it’s not working, he’s like you, he’s good…” “Then stop fighting him!” snapped Gerald. “Auughh!” screamed Camille. Horror dilated her face. Her features twisted and melted as her human shape appeared. She had been swimming naked all right, for she wore nothing, her pregnant belly obscene in its’ largeness. Shock leaped in the burning red eyes of their adversary and his glow broke, but he was too late. Camille slumped dead upon the burning floor, and her body burst into flames. A wordless roar of grief and negation erupted out of Gerald as he turned upon the enemy. He teleported inside their group, invisible, making them invisible to each other and the passage invisible as well while he struck with dragon-limbs like a flail. With a hideous satisfaction he felt bodies being thrown and smacked. Jets of powers in many queer colors rayed and frothed about, but did not hit him, for they could not see him. Ice and water and awful blades of energy hissed and reft the boiling walls, which instantly flowed together from the tremendous pressure. A grip as strong as stone, as strong as the very earth itself, seized his neck, and forced his dragon-face upward, until he found himself looking into the burning red eyes of the leader, who was holding him with his bare hands. '' “Look upon my eyes,” the roaring voice of the red man echoed, “''and gaze into their depths!''” Gerald was unable to move. The eyes of his enemy were huge as ponds, consuming the world like the screen of a movie. A soft red light pervaded the air. Displayed in stark detail was himself. Every deed he’d ever done, his tormented nature, like a man floundering in mire and by some miracle keeping afloat, were plain before him. He saw himself and Camille that first day in the river, saw how clean his soul had been of all that evil, and to his utter confusion realized he was both far better and far worse than he supposed. A seesaw, a wobbling line that still held in one direction, faithless and faithful, he saw himself at last exactly as he was. Tears of mingled happiness and humbleness spilled out of his human eyes. He was not evil. They were not evil. Abruptly he was released. He and the strange man had both collapsed to their knees, unharmed by the scorching floor, hands upon each other’s shoulders. “A Catholic dragon.” the red man whispered. “A repentant Dragon-born. My God in Heaven. Can you forgive me?” “I’m the one who needs forgiving, brother.” said Gerald. “Who are you?” “I am Ronnie Wendy.” he answered. “And we are the Children of the Road.” “I have to fight you, Ronnie.” said Gerald sadly. “My Father holds hostages.” “Then fight. You have no ability to harm us. Forest?” The pale boy lifted a paintbrush, and green fire came from it. And Gerald felt blissful oblivion fall upon him as he was painted into stone. Back to Arheled